πΎ POPS IS ON DUTY TODAY
"Tell me everything. I promise to judge lovingly."
What are we doing today?
Roast a Purchase
Upload a receipt and let them react.
Add a Purchase
Type it in yourself.
Should I Buy This?
Ask before you spend.
Get Real Help
Talk to an actual advisor.
Recent Roasts
EHS roasts you.
A real advisor builds you.
The crew keeps you honest β but for serious financial decisions, talk to a licensed professional. We are a financial entertainment product, not advisors.
We don't give financial adviceFind a CFP Advisor
Search the CFP Board's free directory to find a vetted, fee-only financial planner near you.
Free Credit Counseling
NFCC-certified nonprofit counselors can help with debt, budgeting, and credit β often for free.
Build Your Financial IQ
Free personal finance courses from Khan Academy. From budgeting basics to investing fundamentals.
Book an EHS-Vetted Advisor
We're building direct scheduling with vetted advisors. No cold calls, no hard sell β just straight talk about your money.
EHS is a financial entertainment product. We do not provide financial advice, and nothing on this app should be interpreted as such. The resources above are independent third-party services. EHS may earn a referral fee if you connect with a partner advisor β this never affects the advice you receive from them.
π DEAD SPENDING
Want another opinion?
Playbook
"Everything you need to understand how the crew thinks, how spending gets graded, and how to stop making expensive mistakes."
Meet The Crew
The Four Paths
Dead Spending
"Money that leaves your life and doesn't help your future."
Examples:
- Impulse purchases
- Excessive delivery
- Unused subscriptions
- Lifestyle flexing
Circulating Spending
"Money that keeps life moving."
Examples:
- Rent & Utilities
- Transportation
- Groceries
- Necessities
Building Spending
"Money that improves your future."
Examples:
- Investments
- Business expenses
- Education
- Skill building
Borderline Spending
"The grey zone β could go either way."
Examples:
- Eating out often
- Convenience upgrades
- Hobby equipment
- Lifestyle subscriptions
Understanding Your Grades
Excellent Decision
Pure building spending. Mathematically sound, high ROI, or long-term growth asset.
Solid Choice
Healthy circulating spending or calculated self-investment. Strong fundamentals.
Could Go Either Way
Borderline purchase. Mostly necessary but carries some fluff or overpayment.
Questionable
Borderline dead spending. Impulse-driven or luxury markup that strains cash flow.
What Were You Thinking?
Absolute dead spending. Completely lifestyle flex or pure regret purchase.
How The Crew Thinks
"The crew doesn't roast YOU.
They roast your decisions.
Big difference."
"Every purchase is viewed through a different lens:"
Crew Wisdom
"On sale isn't saving money if you weren't going to buy it."
"Convenience is expensive because people pay to avoid discomfort."
"Subscriptions are dangerous because they disappear quietly."
"Every dollar can only be spent once."
"Small purchases become large habits."
π§° Toolkit
Resources and guides curated by the crew to help you level up your credit, savings, investments, and side hustles.
Case Files
Where it all went.
Highlights
Your financial recap
π BEST DECISION
Vanguard Index
$150.00
Building that future!
π BIGGEST FINANCIAL CRIME
Buffalo Wild Wings
$82.47
Ouch. Take it easy.
Pops
"You are building better habits, honey! Keep making investments sparkle."
Profile
Set the goals and habits your roasters should keep in mind.
Teach your roasters what matters
Your answers shape the advice, callbacks, and pressure they give you.
01
What are you building toward?
Choose every goal your spending decisions should protect.
Choose goals
What are you building toward?
Choose every goal your spending decisions should protect.
02
Where does your money slip?
Pick the spending patterns your roasters should watch closely.
Choose patterns
Where does your money slip?
Pick the spending patterns your roasters should watch closely.
03
What is your monthly income?
Helps estimate your net savings rate.
Enter income
What is your monthly income?
Helps estimate your net savings rate.
04
Notification Preferences
Choose when the court should reach out.
Configure
Notification Preferences
Choose when the court should reach out.
Your Roaster
Default Roast Intensity
Account & Sync
Keep using the app locally, or connect an account to back up your profile and case files.
Your Profile
Add a name, a nickname, and a photo so the app feels like it belongs to you.
OpenClose
Your Profile
Add a name, a nickname, and a photo so the app feels like it belongs to you.
Make this account feel like yours
Choose the name people see, a nickname the app can tease, and a selfie or photo if you want one.
Support EHS
We're in beta and building in public. If this app made you laugh or think, consider buying us a coffee.
Theme Vibe
Preferences
Data Management
Beta & Developer
Feedback tools and testing options. Hidden in production.
Beta Feedback
You're using EHS early. Help shape what it becomes.
Disclaimer
Everybody Hates Spending (EHS) is a financial entertainment product. Grading, verdicts, and roasts are generated automatically for entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional financial advice, banking services, or credit counseling.
Privacy Policy Β· Terms of Use Β· Beta v2.0
Profile & Account Summary
View profile stats, active roaster, and sync status.
OpenClose
Profile & Account Summary
View profile stats, active roaster, and sync status.
Guest Session
Add a nickname to personalize this profile.
Cloud sync is not connected yet.
Your profile summary is ready.
Feedback Submissions (Admin)
Review feedback submitted by beta testers.
OpenClose
Feedback Submissions (Admin)
Review feedback submitted by beta testers.
No feedback submitted yet.
You're in early. Badge unlocked.
Manual Spend Entry
π€ Should I Buy This?
OCR INGESTION ACTIVE
Parsing OCR items, extracting merchants...
Select Roaster
Verify OCR Extraction
Review and confirm the details below before submitting.
Sign out without saving?
All your roast history, profile settings, and data will be permanently deleted. This can't be undone.
Register first to keep everything.
Save your progress?
Keep your roasts, goals, and Day One badge.
Register with email to keep your data.
β Support EHS
We're an indie app in beta. Your support keeps the crew roasting and the lights on.
100% goes toward keeping EHS free during beta. No pressure β the roasts are always free.
π Get Notified
Feature name
Drop your email and we'll ping you the moment this goes live. No spam, ever.
π₯ Roast the App
What happened? (optional)
Appreciate you. The app needed that.
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
BARON BLUE IS JUDGING.
"Your spending variance is approaching unacceptable parameters."
"Your stomach got full. Your savings got jumped."